1. Those who are perfectly capable of unpretentiously switching to profound mode. Yes mate, we are young and wild and careless and think about parties, tv shows, movies, cool music, concerts, booze, smoking, sometimes drugs, clothes, fashion, silly online crap and a bunch of other things that don’t make perfect sense because we are at a point in our lives where age equals license to get crazy. I myself am an advocate of running after sparks while we are still fully capable of doing shit, so I say run screaming past the borderline of sanity because why not.
But you can get bored sometimes, doing the same old things, and this is where profound conversations with friends or other people can give you a sort of breather, like an opened window of a fart-filled van. I don’t know, but I like profound and meaningful conversations once in a while. And by profound it doesn’t have to be a discussion comparing the epistemologies of Nietzsche and Kierkegaard (but for those who feel it, okay). But it shouldn’t be pretentious. It’s nice to have stupid-acting friends who can talk about serious things, like your long-term job plans, your philosophy on choosing your friends, why moral judgments are anachronistic and what the root cause of poverty is, things like that. It’s better if it’s done over drinks, in my opinion.
2. People who use drama sparingly. We know that friends are family and we should be together through thick and thin. But it could be really toxic sometimes when all you share about are broken relationships, family problems and vague sadness. They assault your Facebook and Twitter feeds with suicide notes and reasons why they’re sad, and it’s a bit hard to keep up. If you’re clinically depressed, you talk to a therapist, not a friend.
Don’t get me wrong here, friends should care for each other through tough times. But sometimes you should also know when to take a break. Jessica Zafra once told the world that we are all the walking wounded, and your pain is no different from everyone else’s. I like people who know how to get all emo moderately. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to feel what you feel and talk about it because you’re in a hellhole of all things depressing, but sometimes it pays to be strong and just suck it all up. Your friends have problems, too, and you wouldn’t want to inadvertently make the friendship all about you and your broken life. It’s a give and take, yes?
3. People who can make the otherwise mundane interesting. One thing I’ve learned about the pursuit of happiness: it’s that it’s a choice we make for ourselves. If you are sad right now and you think happiness is predestined, you might as well bury yourself alive.
We can watch a concert, see a movie, binge drink or go to Paris yet still feel bad about it because we’re in the company of lousy people. Conversely, we can have B movies over sleepovers or play Monopoly Deal til kingdom come and still be happy about it because we’re with interesting guys and girls who make us happy. I like being with those kinds of people who make fun come naturally. I once had an experience of talking to a friend for five hours straight while sitting on a park bench and it was both fun and refreshing because we talked about profound things and were not pretentious about it.
4. Appropriately socialized hipsters. I’ve been talking about hipsters for quite a while now, and it’s probably because I know some and am influenced by a few. There are hipsters that are cool to be with, and then there are some so obscure you start doubting if they’re from this planet.
I appreciate hipsters who love alternative music, movies and whatnot because they are genuinely cool stuff, not because liking them makes you cool, you get me. I particularly despise those who feel like it’s their sworn duty to proclaim their hipster-ness and saturate people with their knowledge on alternative but otherwise crappy stuff. If there is anything I dislike so much about these bunch of Marina Abramovic-wannabes, it’s aggrandizing and hyping themselves like hey I listen to this and you don’t therefore I am so fly and you aren’t. So much hate, no? But I love happy hippies who have good tastes and are not douchey about it. They make you learn so much about nice things you’re too busy to stumble upon because your cultural capital sucks. Love you guys.
5. Inoffensively smart guys and girls. Having studied in a supposedly top university back in college, I met a lot of geeks and nerds and people who don’t use calculators in Math. I loved it, being around these people whose wavelengths are similar to mine. But there are also folks whose IQs are inversely proportional to their EQs. If anything, if I were made to choose between high IQ and high EQ, I’d take the latter any time of the day.
I don’t like obnoxious smartasses, because they make me feel like they’re compensating for something they lack. These are the loudmouths who feel the need to show off every time there’s an opportunity to do so. They talk about highbrow stuff and judge you for not knowing supposedly general knowledge. They treat you with contempt, which is a bad thing because as what Malcom Gladwell said in Blink, contempt means the person treats you as if you’re on a level lower than where they are. Feeling smart? Four words: fucking join quiz nights.
6. Honest ones. I cannot stress hard enough how I admire people who are honest in a non-oversharing sort of way. Trust is the key to any good friendship, and you can only trust each other if you’re honest with what you share, Captain Obvious. If you’re really bound to be friends with someone, you’ll inevitably have to share with them a part of you, so might as well be honest to them from the start.
You don’t have to pretend like you own a fleet of cars, go to cool parties and are associated with the arbiters of coolness; sometimes it’s okay to tell your friends that’s you’re broke as hell that’s why you can’t hang out tonight. Real friends won’t judge you if you have a burning desire for Justin Bieber, you’re still a virgin and you believe in God.
7. Liberals. The thing about liberal people is, they’re so open-minded to a lot of things and they don’t pass judgment in a knee-jerk reaction. That’s why I’m particularly thankful that some of my friends are debaters, because we can talk about homosexuality, prostitution, abortion, promiscuity, reproductive health, atheism and a lot of things without sounding like we’re rednecks. I don’t get bigots at all. There should be a ring in hell reserved for the self-righteous, sanctimonious fucktards who go Judge Judy every single time. And I don’t even care if they’re socialized to be hardcore Catholics or things like that. I think being understanding is something people are capable of regardless of how we’re brought up.
I love liberal people because they have a broader understanding of how things work and you’ll probably have better conversations with them. I only like bigots when I debate with them because it gives me a perfectly legitimate excuse to tell them how stupid they are.