Four annoying things about millennials

According to a recent cover story of Time, I was born in the generation of entitled, lazy, over-confident and narcissistic bunch of individuals. We are teeny little spawns of Satan, and to some extent I agree, especially when I get visually assaulted by multiple selfies on a daily basis.

But hey I’m not going to be all self-righteous here. Just look at my site’s header, it has my face on it and I look like hey, I have a cool shirt.

Before we proceed here’s a #selfie:

#instacute

To support Joel Stein’s claim that my generation can be metaphorically represented by a steaming pile of horseshit, I am coming up with a list of reasons why people like me (those born between 1980-2000) are annoying as fuck.

1. Lack of respect for parents. I am struggling with the idea that harboring vague feelings of anger and hate for your folks is a cool thing. Then again I grew up with pretty chill parents and we get along just fine. But some people talk to their parents like they’re their ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends, full of vitriol with inexplicable lack of courtesy. They call their folks by their first names and they post online stuff about why mom is annoying and why dad is stupid. Like who are you, contestants from Toddlers and Tiaras? Maybe it’s because we’re too obsessed with freedom and independence and we see our parents as threats to the survival of our species, but still I don’t get why some millennials aren’t civil with their folks.

2. Obsession with things. Do you know that song “When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel so bad”? It’s basically a song about millennials. Like when you fail an exam, you break up with your partner or just wake up one day and decide that you’re fashionably depressed, you go on buying a new bag, you look for cronuts, you buy a third phone and then you Instagram all your stuff in the effort to solicit ‘likes’ which you think are objective metrics in determining that everything will be okay. Things become substitute for happiness in the belief that happiness can be manufactured.

Look at all the fuck these people give

Just take a look at Instagram and you’ll see lots of weird hashtags like #instabag, #instashoes, #instacar #instaphone, #instafuckingfabulousthingy, #instaexpensivefoodyounormallywontseeincheaprestaurants and a whole lot of stuff that will make you worry about the fate of mankind. Sometimes I wonder if my generation’s deliberately trying to be annoying.

3. Selfies. The first time I had my own camera I immediately drained its battery because of too many selfies which I posted on my Multiply account. I seriously thought people were going to be pleased that I had about 20 photos of myself in weird facial expressions, some of which were products of intense practice and deep internalization. I was wrong! Years later, I came into the horrific realization that it’s very embarrassing, so I made the album private and I didn’t save copies before Multiply shut down. It’s a dark chapter of my life that I wouldn’t want to repeat and I hope people who saw my selfies before totally forgot about it. But some hold on the belief that posting photos (or videos, eek!) of yourself online is an inalienable human right that should be exercised to the fullest extent. Which is fine by me as long as they’re pleasant-looking. I don’t really mind good-looking people sharing their beauty to the world. I think it’s a service to humanity. But not all good-looking people feel this responsibility, and it’s such a shame. I have a friend who suggested that the number of selfies should be directly proportional to the physical appearance of a person. I silently agree and wish this proposal passes into law.

4. Hyping one’s self. If there’s one thing I like about old people, it’s that they worked so hard to achieve everything they have and right now. I’m thinking Rockefeller, Carnegie, Vanderbilt, etc. but if you’re thinking about your mom or dad maybe they fit the description, too. Before proclaiming themselves as this or that, they first started from scratch and toiled for endless hours before getting the recognition they deserve from their peers. That’s why if ever they’re good at something, you know it’s true, unlike some self-proclaimed famewhores like us who fake it first then work on getting there. In the age of the Internet, it’s now easy for a millennial to brand his or herself as a journalist, style icon, food critic, pop culture authority, photographer, metallurgical engineer and whatnot. I’m kidding about the last one. These days, one does not need to have the actual skill, one just has to be really good in promoting fluff.

I know, it’s very hypocritical of me to bash my own generation. But hey, if anything, Time said we’re going to save the world regardless of how fucked up we all are we because we are adaptable and talented and shit. Let’s start by hiding those scary selfies, should we?

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